Several years ago, when I renewed my Christian faith, my sister recommended a book to me, A Severe Mercy, by Sheldon Vanauken. The author and his wife were deeply in love, agnostic (or "pagan" in his words), and searching for truth. During his search, he started corresponding with C.S. Lewis. During this correspondence, his wife became a Christian. Sheldon accepted her decision, even following her with his own, yet always placed the marriage ahead of his commitment to God. The book details the early years of their faith, which ended with her death at a young age. Sheldon was devastated, yet came to understand that within that loss, God was calling him to come closer, that her death was "a severe mercy" given to him for his greater good.
Now, since I am about to talk about my cat, I must apologize in advance for equating my pet's death to the loss of a human life. I do so only for the sake of describing my feelings. I definitely believe that there is a wide gulf between the worth of a human life and that of the "beasts that perish", though that in no way excuses wanton acts of cruelty against animals.
When playing outside with my daughter Rebecca today, I was struck by how happy she is even though I have been so sad lately, even crying in front of her. I am encouraged by her energy, her playfulness, and her love for life. My pastor told me not to worry about her too much, for the will to live within a child is very great. They are not yet discouraged by the cares of this world.
I feel a new era is opening up in my life, one that is calling me away from giving my affection to pets, and giving it to God, my wife, and my daughter. This decision is not written in stone, but the way I feel now is that I will no longer have a pet in my house with my name on its collar - that time has past. Rebecca may choose a pet, and I will give it my love, but my affection belongs to my daughter now, and my first love must be for God.
I'm going to open this book "A Severe Mercy" again. I think it has a message for me, again.
Here's a verse that spoke to me today. Though the loss of a pet is not the context, it still comes across strong for anyone feeling great loss and wondering if God is there.
Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Ps 73:25-26 NKJV