October 26, 2005

The Rev. Albert Mohler criticizes the "Double Income, No Kids" phenomenon

In Touchstone magazine, R. Al Mohler, Jr., president of the Southern Baptist Association, discusses the practice of married couples intentionally choosing childlessness, Rebel Without an Issue.

An excerpt which mirrors my own thinking:

Scripture does not give couples the option of choosing childlessness. To the contrary, in the biblical revelation God commands us to receive children with joy as his gifts, and to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We are to find many of our deepest joys and satisfactions in the raising of children within the context of the family. Those who reject children want to have the joys of sex and marital companionship without the responsibilities of parenthood. They rely on others to produce and sustain the generations to come.

To which I add: My growth as a Christian has been greatly influenced by our adoption of Rebecca (having been unable to have children via childbirth, we have adopted instead). Being forced to live for another person, who I love not just because I want to but because her life literally depends on it. It's a whole different perspective. My selfishness is exposed and being peeled away, slowly but surely. My life is not my own, nor are our lives as husband and wife our own. As a couple who are now one flesh, we together have encountered the privilege and responsibility of "passing it on". And regarding how we influence this world, for most of us, our works end with our time. What we gather in life is scattered to the wind when we pass away. The only lasting influence we will have on this earth will be through our descendants. In effect, what people who choose childlessness are saying is, "What I do, what I believe in are not important. When I pass away, there is nothing for which I want to be remembered here." The Psalmist says:

Likewise the fool and the senseless person perish,
And leave their wealth to others.
Their inner thought is that their houses will last forever,
Their dwelling places to all generations;
They call their lands after their own names.
Nevertheless man, though in honor, does not remain;
He is like the beasts that perish.

Do not be afraid when one becomes rich,
When the glory of his house is increased;
For when he dies he shall carry nothing away;
His glory shall not descend after him.
Though while he lives he blesses himself
(For men will praise you when you do well for yourself),
He shall go to the generation of his fathers;
They shall never see light.
A man who is in honor, yet does not understand,
Is like the beasts that perish.
Psalm 49: 10-12,16-20 NKJV


If one wants to leave a godly legacy on this earth, there is no better way to do so than to have children, teach them to love God, and teach them to teach their children to love God as well. Psalm 78 is a serious (and long) reminder to us that we should not neglect to do the latter as well.

Related links:
Contraception: A Symposium, featuring J. Budziszewski and R. Albert Mohler, Jr.

And, in a previous issue of Touchstone, a link to the article on which Amy and I have decided to base our sex-and-marriage teaching, Designed for Sex by J. Budziszewski.

Posted by Joel Fuhrmann at October 26, 2005 12:24 PM
Comments

You're exactly right here, Joel. There is no greater blessing than a child. Except two children. And then three, and four . . .

(There's also a parallel here -- Imagine how God feels when a new child is added to Him. And imagine his disappointment when his children, the saved, do not try to add to His family by reaching the lost.)

The two-income, no children people can have their toys. Fifty years from now, I'll take my (hopefully) numerous grandchildren.

Posted by: Jason at October 28, 2005 12:20 AM

I disagree with the premise. For those who want to be parents, there is no greater blessing than having and raising a child. But I don't believe that all are called to be parents. Some are given different gifts to share with the world and I, for one, can respect their ability to discern the path God has given them to live.

The issue of materialism and selfishness is a completely different one altogether. It is quite a leap to presume that people/couples who choose not to have children are all selfish.

As one who believes that raising my child is the greatest, most wonderful and hardest thing I've ever done, it's hard for me to imagine what it's like for someone who doesn't want to be a parent. But should I judge them just because I can't imagine what their own path is like?

Just some of my thoughts on the subject...

Sue

Posted by: Sue Unruhe at October 28, 2005 10:09 PM

I understand that some people have different gifts than others, but is the Biblical command to be fruitly and multiple limited? I've never seen a Biblical argument that it is.

Posted by: Jason at October 31, 2005 02:11 PM